The Worst Dream in a Long Time
June 10, 2010
I have just had the worst dream I have ever had in ages. I dreamt I killed someone, and the whole world was after me.
In my dream, I was was on holiday somewhere, celebrating overseas with friends, three of us. We all had our own rooms, but for one night we were just hanging out in one of the rooms together. Words were exchanged over some small matter, and I punched that friend so hard I killed him, and then the investigation started soon after (yes, it was a very long dream). Criminal investigators were on the scene, and people were being interviewed, samples were being taken in hopes of finding the killer (that would be me). The other friend who was present did her best to cover it all up, but throughout the entire ordeal (walking around, meeting friends, the guy’s family, etc.) I felt absolutely terrible. I felt that I shold just have owned up, but was too scared to do so. In my mind I was thinking , “How long will they jail me for murder? Would it count as manslaughter? What’s going to happen next?” and the overriding emotion about the whole matter was guilt.
My next thoughts were “I can’t believe this is happening. This feels too real. I can’t believe this is happening. I wish this was just a bad dream that I could wake up from.”
I can’t believe that it felt so real I couldn’t distinguish it from reality. Hasn’t happened in a long time.
During the closure of the dream, I was talking to the investigators themselves, and they asked, “We have one question to ask you; why do you look so sad? You seem the saddest out of everyone we know, were you guys like really close?”
My reply was “It’s just really tragic.”
Then I woke up. Thank God. The next words I think were from Him.
“Do you think I would have still loved you?”
“Yes.”
I think He’s trying to teach me something about forgiveness. I pray I’ll never have to learn it that way again.
