Two Weddings…

have happened since end of last week. One belonging to someone I used to go out with, another with someone who took me as her troubled surrogate younger sibling back in the day when I had the luxury of being troubled.

Felicia’s wedding was awesome for a couple of reasons and incredibly long which wasn’t so awesome. I’m so glad for her, and and I more than anyone else knows this is what she’s been wanting for so long. She looked so happy and…. content, and I really hope that it was everything she had imagined it to be. If there were a couple of things I could put down to how she married, she did it with sincerity, simplicity and joy.

Sheryl I haven’t seen in ages, and I’m surprised that she remembered me at all. I wonder how I managed to be put in the list with her friends; she looked a little stressed tonight though. The wedding was impeccable, rather typical of James I suppose. The food was excellent and there were no speeches in the middle of dinner which was revolutionary in itself. Good call.

So. I have entered the era where every Tom, Dick and Harry pops the question ‘So when are you getting married?’, to which I sardonically reply ‘When I find my wife’.

How does one go about finding a wife? Is it going to be like how I find my job; completely not what I had envisioned to start with and only entered into with extreme reluctance to find God’s hand it it? Getting a career and marrying someone are two entirely different decisions with different expectations. I never thought about getting a job.

Until fairly recently getting married was never a reality in the universe of Wern. Marriage was something that ‘older people’ did, and I didn’t see myself entering that strange land, that dimension they inhabited that I was somehow separated from by an invisible barrier that I never had the desire to cross. Wedding ceremonies. And what ceremonies they seemed to be to me, and sometimes still are. A ghost parade of people in costumes marching out, slightly out of time to music that someone else seems to be playing, a chord slightly out of tune. Some other weddings bleed honesty, leaving me breathless at how someone could gain the love of so many. Those weddings leave me in secret envy, with a silent smouldering deep inside that I hope will bring me more good than harm as I push myself to grow and change beyond who I am to who I want to be. Hey, it’s only natural.